Glynn Lacey

Glynn and I first met when I started work at Manton Colliery, Worksop. He had just transferred from Shireoaks/Steetley Colliery, it was the end of the second miner's strike.

Glynn was a quiet, shy man. A well-built man at over 6' tall and about 19 stone, but with his height he could carry the weight - he was my 'Gentle Giant'. One or two of his friends told me that he wanted to go out with me, would I? I just said when he had the courage to ask me himself I might! I had never been interested in men, and always said that I wasn't going to get married, unless it was to someone like my dad. In a lot of ways Glynn was like my dad.

In October 1985 Glynn finally asked me out, and miraculously we managed to keep our new relationship secret from everyone at work. We got engaged in May 1986 and married at St. Anne's Church, Worksop on 26th September 1987 - I was 23 and Glynn was 35.

On our first wedding anniversary we found out the wonderful news that we were expecting our first child, a child Glynn never believed he would father - Hannah Louise finally put in an appearnce on 6th June 1989 (late!!) Glynn was so proud when he held his daughter for the first time. He was pleased as punch!

In 1993, our second daughter Emma Jayne was born (also late!!), Glynn never bothered that he didn't have a son, he was an only child and all of the other male relatives on his dad's side had died, so the end of the line was Glynn. I had problems when I had Emma and Glynn thought he was going to be left bringing up his daughters on his own, no more children for us! Two was enough, but we didn't want to take any chances with my health.

Glynn was so proud of his girls, he raced pigeons and although Hannah had been interested when she was younger, it ws Emma who followed his trail, everywhere! She began racing pigeons alongside him in the last two years of his life, sadly the pigeons had to go when Glynn died, but he had already arranged things so that the sale would be taken care of for me.

October 2001 the bottom dropped out of our world, literally, Glynn was diagnosed with rectal cancer and needed surgery. He underwent the first surgery on 30th January 2002, the day before Emma's 9th birthday. He came home from hospital in February with a temporary colostomy to go in for a reversal in March 2002. However, there had been problems and complications developed, he had the reversal in March but had to have a number of further operations and ended up in a drug-induced coma with a permanent colostomy and very lucky to be alive. Glynn finally came home from hospital in May 2002, but he had a major open wound and needed district nurses to visit and dress the wound until February 2003. The surgeon who operated on him had 'problems' and we, amongst others, had a lengthy legal battle with the hospital which ended finally in May 2006.

In September 2006 Glynn went for a check up with his new surgeon (we had transferred hospitals in 2002) and he was looking fantastic, there was talk of his transfer to yearly check-ups following his routine CT scans. Sadly, this was not to be - In October 2006 he began to be ill again, he was called back to see the consultant, but we had to arrange an earlier appointment because he was so ill. The surgeon was devastated to tell us that Glynn had secondary lung cancer, affecting all of his lungs, in his opinion he had never been in remission!! Glynn wasn't showing any symptoms of lung cancer, but he was showing symptoms of something far more sinister - brain cancer. We went to Ireland at October half-term and Glynn became more and more ill whilst we were in Ireland, we came home and he went to bed, he saw our GP on the Tuesday, by this time he was a very ill man and wanted to be admitted to hospital! The Macmillan Nurses were called to see him, the Doctors knew about the lung cancer, but no-one knew what was happening with his brain. He had the brain scan on the Thursday, and on the Friday morning, 3rd November, I had a telephone call from the hospital to go in for the Doctor's rounds. We were told that Glynn had secondary brain cancer, all areas of his brain was covered with tumours, he was seriously ill and there was absolutely nothing that could be done to save him. Everyone aimed to get Glynn through Christmas for us, our last one together, every day after this would be a bonus!

Glynn attended Bassetlaw Hospice of the Good Shepherd in Retford as a day patient, they were absolutely fantastic with all of us. Looking after the family as well as Glynn, my mum had died in the Hospice in April 2004 and that is why Glynn wanted to go there, he was so impressed with the care mum had received.

On 29th December 2006 I was taking Glynn to see him mum, on the way he appeared to be having problems breathing but was adamant he was going to his mum's. By the time we got there (about 15 min. drive from home) he could not get out of the car and he couldn't talk to me, the tumours were causing the blood vessels in his brain to burst.

I brought him back home to the local hospital who had him admitted to the Hospice. He knew what was happening, but in a very short time he couldn't even write, he was so frustrated! The girls and I had discussed what would happen at the end, Glynn didn't want to die at home, nor did he want to die in the hospital he wanted to be in the hospice. Hannah was 17 and she said she wanted to be with me and her dad, Emma who was nearly 14 didn't want to be with her dad. I told both girls that it was their choice and it was o.k. whatever they decided, even if they changed their mind.

The day Glynn went into the hospice, dad had taken Emma home with him and my sister, Emma came the following morning and refused to go home, so when Glynn passed away on the morning of 31st December 2006 Hannah and Emma were with me at Glynn's side as he went to sleep.

It was so peaceful and everyone at the Hospice were fantastic with us all. The nurses who had looked after mum were looking after Glynn, they are all very special people who look after your loved ones with such care and compassion I couldn't have had better care for Glynn had I paid privately. He died in peaceful, homely surroundings where he was treated with respect, dignity, care and compassion to make his last hours as comfortable as they could possibly be.

At 9.15 a.m. on 31st December 2006 I lost the most wonderful husband I could have wished for, and our daughters lost the father they idolised and were so proud of. Glynn did go too soon, but he had to leave our side in order that he could be free of the pain, torment and suffering he had endured for six years.

We miss you every day Glynn, until we meet again darling, all our love, Mandy, Hannah and Emma xxxxx